Negotiation Tips for Women: Empower Yourself at the Table

Negotiation is an essential skill in today’s workplace, yet research shows women are often hesitant to engage in it. Studies have revealed some startling statistics: Only 12% of women negotiated their job offers, compared to 50% of men. When it comes to negotiating salaries, only 7% of women take the step to ask for a raise, and when they do, their success rate is slightly lower than men’s—15% versus 20%. So, why don’t more women negotiate? Why aren't they as successful as men when they do?  And more importantly, how can we change that?

Here’s a breakdown of the key challenges women face at the negotiating table, along with actionable tips to become a more confident, effective negotiator.

Why Don’t Women Negotiate?

Social Cost & Backlash

One of the biggest deterrents for women when it comes to negotiating is the fear of social backlash. Women often feel penalized for asserting themselves in negotiations, with studies showing that women can be viewed as "bossy" or "unfeminine" when they speak up for themselves. This fear of negative perceptions is real, and it can make negotiations feel risky.

Conflict Aversion

For many women, negotiation feels like conflict, and the natural instinct is to avoid it. However, seeing negotiation as a neutral or even positive part of the conversation rather than something inherently adversarial is crucial. Negotiation is a process of problem-solving, not confrontation.

How to Overcome These Barriers

1. Prepare and Practice!

Preparation is key in any negotiation. Know your value, understand the market rate for your role, and be clear on what you want to achieve. Practice your pitch in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend. The more you practice, the more confident you’ll feel walking into the room. Preparation also includes anticipating counterarguments and deciding how you’ll respond. The more familiar you are with the process, the more comfortable you’ll become.

2. Timing Is Everything

Don’t rush into negotiations without considering the timing. Make sure the moment is right: when all parties are available and receptive. If you’re negotiating a salary, don’t do it right after a difficult quarter or an overwhelming project. Pick a time when the discussion can be more productive and when emotions aren’t running high.

3. Establish a Position of Power

Men often instinctively use space to convey power—they claim the head of the table and spread out to assert dominance. Women can do the same! Take control of the space around you. Sit at the head of the table or across from the lead negotiator. Spread out your papers and use your physical presence to command attention. The act of occupying space can help you feel more powerful and set a tone of confidence. Don’t underestimate the impact of simple body language on how you're perceived.

4. Be Both Assertive and Warm

The key to a successful negotiation without triggering backlash is balancing assertiveness with warmth. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you must be aggressive to get what you want, but this often backfires for women. While this may not be fair, negotiations do not exist in a vacuum and to be successful, it is important to acknowledge that we must operate within the culture we live in.  Backlash is unfortunately a real and current problem for women in negotiation situations.  To be successful, be firm in your request while demonstrating empathy. Women often excel in emotional intelligence, and using this strength allows you to make your case in a way that feels collaborative rather than combative. Assertiveness paired with warmth is powerful.

5. Assume Good Intent and Keep Emotions in Check

Negotiation should be a methodical process. Stay focused on the facts and don’t take the conversation personally. Assume that the other party has good intentions, and stay level-headed. If the conversation doesn’t go the way you hoped, take a step back, reframe, and think about next steps. Keeping emotions out of the negotiation helps you remain clear-headed and in control.

6. Have a Walkaway Plan

Always know your “walkaway” point—what is the least acceptable outcome for you? Understand what your alternatives are and what your decision will be if negotiations break down. This gives you confidence because you know what you’re willing to accept and what you’re not. Having a clear plan can help you stay focused and assertive, even if things aren’t going as expected.

Final Thoughts: Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back

Negotiating, especially for women, can feel daunting, but the only way to improve is to practice and take risks. When you step up to the negotiating table, you’re not just advocating for yourself, you’re setting an example for others to follow. Embrace the opportunity to stand your ground, ask for what you deserve, and make space for yourself in every conversation.

Negotiation is not a battle; it’s a conversation—and with the right tools, it can be a conversation you confidently lead. So, get prepared, take a seat at the table, and go after what you want.

You’ve got this!